Jira? Admit it, you’re a scrum master.

My Filipina wife is new to driving. Had to drill her on when to use and not use high beams. Yet, we both forget sometimes.

And don’t start me on the assholes with “permanent” high beams and blinding LEDs.

Got me on that one, I’m lacking. Made plenty of my own hot sauces from scratch, never learned to ferment.

I see so many posts, “I don’t know how to cook!”

Of fucking course you do. Can’t boil water or make toast?! Start and practice. You can only get better.

“Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”

― Kurt Vonnegut, God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater

LOL, the ‘key’ is literally called a “water key”. Good job!

(Pliers, of most sorts, work as well, but they’re a PITA vs. an actual tool for the job.)

Wonderful! And the lesson here is, just fucking try something, anything. Your story made me feel good. Fine job!

Parents threw me in a class when I was 5. Scared shitless, screaming bloody murder, all that.

And I did indeed save my own life. And I was swimming with a certified lifeguard. Read on…

19, second year of college, fucking around with my neighbor, who I got to fuck, because I lived.

Perfectly still pond, nothing crazy. We were a bit drunk but had our wits about us. For some reason, I lost it. No idea what happened.

Went down like a Bugs Bunny cartoon. Literally. Hand sinking for the third time.

(At this point, I would recommend you all watch a video of what drowning looks like. It probably ain’t what you think. You might save someone’s life.)

Thought, “Figure this out or die. This very second.”

Remembered my lessons on floating, got my lips above water and took a sip of air. Stopped fighting, floated back up, did it again. After 3 or 4 tries, I had enough air to calm down, lay on my back and breathe. Just dandy after that. Went home, got laid, and here I am typing this dumb comment 30+ years later.

Learn to swim no matter if it scares you or not.

Had a gf back in the day and we started at the bar like that.

“I’m a man, my opinion doesn’t really count here, but I have one.”

“Correct answer.”

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Bah. What the hell does the Supreme Allied Commander Europe for WWII know about the military? Eisenhower should have just stayed in his lane.

Would you like to come hang out sometime? NW Florida here. I REALLY mean that. I’m asking and I’m serious.

I got a couple of spare rooms, loads of things to do around here if you like outdoors stuff. Floating the rivers and creeks in kayaks and such is my jam. Stop on random sandbanks, swap in a cold beer, eat a little, explore, move on.

I’ve never lived anywhere where people were less racist. I know, hard to believe. I live on the edge of a redneck town. My street is ~30% black, the rest white. We got one Asian! And I will marry her this Friday. Everyone is coming.

I cannot clap hard enough for your honest post. You must be a fine person for having said all that out loud and I love you for it. I’m embarrassed by my little prejudices as well, and I hate those god damned limits I put on myself. We get past those by travelling and sharing. Only way I know.

DM me and I’ll tell you where we’re at.

How many you want? I’ll box some up.

There’s a cool beaver damn down the road from my camp in NW Florida. I’m seeing some maps that disagree, but that land in considered subtropical on all of them.

They’re so bad at my camp in the swamp, I have to bathe in bug repellent, and I still get 3-4. Without? I won’t even try.

Once it dips below 40F sometime in October, or probably November, it’s safe until April.

That was a joy to read!

hyper optimized facial recognition machine

Reading a book this morning where an alien is confronting a human military commander (on screen) about an extraordinarily fraught situation.

The alien AI translates the human’s face and body language, and gets it right, but it’s second best guess was also correct!

“Must be the first one. No way humans can express 4 contradictory emotions with just facial muscles.”

LOL, I’m getting Discworld vibes. The vendor wasn’t Disembowel-Meself-Honourably Dibhala by chance?

LOL, my buddy back in 2000 named his system “Nuclear Halon” for just that reason.

Is this why my old extinguisher at camp just spits white dust?!

Tested it the other day, because why not? It’s there because it’s old, and the place is literally a swamp, nothing going to burn down.

Lots of cleaning advice, but let me add this bit: If you crack it open and use a can of air on it, unplug the CPU fan first. Super easy if you’ve gone that far.